Thursday, August 29, 2013

100WC-As the train entered the tunnel

Once in a far away island there lived a train called Thomas the tank engine and one day Thomas had 100 people on his train. Then he had to stop because his engine broke down and all the people said what happened here? Then Thomas said to everyone “my engine broke down and now we are stuck in the middle of town.” Then a boy hopped off the train and spoke to Thomas. He said “I can fix your train.” The boy fixed it straight away and Thomas said thank you. When Thomas looked at himself he said wow “how did you do that in just four minutes.” 

2 comments:

  1. To Gemma,
    I like how you have used speech marks in your writing to show people talking. Just remember to use them every time someone is talking. Where do you think you need to add speech marks in?
    Check how many times you have started a sentence with 'then.' Can you think of another word to start your sentences in a different way?
    From Mrs Head

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  2. To Gemma,

    I like the story. Next time when you write a story, please try not to use "and" all the times.

    From Mum

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